In the down time that I have had this summer, I check Facebook or I post to Facebook.
Recently I have been posting photos of recent summer adventures such as, getting married, going to Missouri, and going to San Diego. I do this to share pictures mostly so my immediate family can view them.
However, I feel like in order to share things with my family, I have resorted to Facebook. Usually you go to one another's homes and let them copy pictures off of CDs or make copies and deliver them. But among the excuses come up, life is busy and Facebook just makes it all easier. If they want their own, they can do it themselves. Even if they don't want the copy's it would be better to take the original pictures to their homes and share your stories behind the pictures, instead of letting them assume for themselves what the story is or what the stories are. Overall, it allows for more interaction and visitation. Among those, however, who live far away, you would not be able to visit and share, Facebook allows for easy comments and communication on such pictures for sharing. This I rather do enjoy. It is more, rather, that I need to simplify Facebook or just quit it all together?
I feel as I log in to Facebook and begin scanning the news feed, I become sad, overwhelmed, self conscious, and when I log out, I do not feel any better after wards because those feelings dwell for a while.
As I ponder of this mystery coming about in my mind, I can't help but think that I feel these things because I compare lives through Facebook, I compare looks, I feel set a part from lives I would want to be a part of. I compare successes, and can't help but feel that I wish I was in their position already. I see people living the dreams I still dream, and dream on thinking I wish I could do that too.
Facebook doesn't make me compare, I make me compare. But because this has always been and is a hard habit to break, Facebook doesn't help me break my habit. I feel like it aides me in it. It makes me feel so selfish, wanting to be a part of others lives. But I can't be a part of them. We have to live our own lives.
So all together, should I quit Facebook, or should I just simplify to where I only have family to keep in touch with because of distance? I am afraid of missing something, but I am also feeling like I am missing something to make myself a better person. It sounds so easy of a decision to take the high road and make your self a better person, yet I don't know if I should make it or not. Will it actually really help me in the end? It's not like it is a huge sacrifice, but it's hard not to wonder if I will be forgotten? It's crazy to think Facebook has come so far as to make me think this, but really, am I the only one who really thinks this? I know i can make a decision, but I want to make a decision good for me and good for those I want to keep in touch with. Maybe I should just stick to the bloggity blog and no facebook? Is that a good compromise? Tell me what you think family and friends. If I choose to delete Facebook, I will make a deadline for me to be off of it completely, so that way I can gather pictures and things off of Facebook, just in case it's a possibility of losing them. Is this a worthy goal? What to do, what to do.....
When I read this I couldn't help but feel that I was writing it. I don't know if you remember, or if you even knew that I deactivated my Facebook account a while ago. I don't remember how long I had it that way but it was a month-ish or something. The reason I deactivated it was the same reason you talk about in this post. I kept comparing myself to all the women getting married, all the women having babies, all the women with good jobs, all the women who are just the perfect housewives, and I was sad, and after being sad I was angry that I couldn't be that way, that I didn't have the prettiest pictures when I got married, that I couldn't get pregnant, that I looked too fat, that I had a lame job and that my house is not the perfect example of a beautiful home (I'm so behind in my ironing and I don't feel like cooking most of the time).
ReplyDeleteSo I deactivated it. It was good for that month, but there are so many people I wanted to keep in contact with (mainly people in Peru) and that I just didn't seem to talk to. Then there was my family who is forever away and Trent's family doesn't really read our blog, unless we post a link on Facebook.
And I did feel forgotten, one of my friends was getting married and I wasn't on Facebook so she didn't send me an invite to her group so the day was coming and I didn't have an invitation. I had to let her know via Facebook once I got it back and then I got it.
Now that I'm back on Facebook I have learned to use it a different way (I mostly just play SongPop). I post some updates but I don't post any feelings at all on Facebook, any thoughts, any opinions, anything. And it's better that way. I also deleted like 150 friends that I feel were only people I knew once but weren't really friends. I still have to go through it again but I don't have time. I wish people would use Facebook differently, most of them just use it to whine or brag and post millions of Instagram photos, which I think it's kind of weird. Their lives are all there, a picture at a time.
Blogs are definitely a good way to keep your family and friends and people who really care about you informed. I read your blog every time you post!
Whatever you decide will be the best for you, and don't feel like you need to tell anybody about your deadline, then if you ever decide to come back you'll hear lots of things. One day you can just disappear on Facebook and whatever you choose will be okay. If you still update your blog, I'll always know about you! And I plan on it!
Anyway, this is a mouthful and you're probably tired of reading this by now, or maybe dozed off, or maybe stopped reading and just skimmed through it, but that's my 2 cents (more like my $10)!
I can understand where you are coming from. When I first signed up for Facebook it was because that is how my siblings stay in contact. My status updates are few and far between. Mostly I troll to see what family is up to and have it available for friends and family to do the whole invite/group thing.
ReplyDeleteI much prefer to read blogs or see people in person...it is more of who they are and how they feel behind stuff. Plus, If I care enough to read/check I really care it is not just info the whole world gets to know.
I keep my updates on Facebook few and far between mostly because I prefer the blog. I love letting loved ones see through a bigger window and not just a peep hole. And it is me/us. If people don't like what I say they don't have to read etc...
I vote for going minimalist on facebook--only getting on when you have a true purpose. And sharing what you really want to share through the blog.
Take it for what it is worth. We love you Brianna.
I have a lot of friends who look at my blog (but don't comment) whenever I post the link on facebook. That's mainly what I update for. I agree with Nadia in that you can only learn about certain things about friends through facebook, like engagements, wedding invitations, etc. Only use it for that and you'll be fine. Maybe do what Nadia did and delete friends, especially ones you compare yourself to a lot.
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